Comments on: Sonofa

By: Porgo

Porgo — Wed, 28 Jul 2004 06:08:31 +0000

josh, i believe this is one of those cases where medicinal marijuana can be legally "applied."

or try the Provo version of illicit drugs -- chug a half bottle of Robittusen DM followed by one or two Coca Cola chasers.

not that i would know.

By: nancy

nancy — Sat, 09 Aug 2003 16:16:42 +0000

You can always do something from Office Space: Stop showing up, and eventually they’ll get the hint.

By: martin

martin — Mon, 04 Aug 2003 08:43:54 +0000

You can email if you want some info – Simple click on my name and a email window will pop up. If you can sucessfully send email then New Century Mortgage IT department wants you!

By: jenny

jenny — Mon, 04 Aug 2003 07:07:17 +0000

Martin, just what company do you work for? Man, we need a job BAD, and I can fog a mirror like nobody's business. However, I must tell you that I originally read "complimentary pastries" as "complimentary pasties" and thought, "Man, that company must really be swingin'!

By: JC

JC — Sun, 03 Aug 2003 07:16:15 +0000

Hey, keep it up and you might get that paid leave without filling out ANY forms. Of course, it will be medical…

By: jon

jon — Sat, 02 Aug 2003 19:09:46 +0000

JOHN JOHN JOHN

is a wife who has complete faith in your ability to fix it saying (understandingly and supportively): "Don't worry I know you'll figure it out"

this is soooo funny to hear, this is exactly what happens in situations like this when i would call home and explain my plight to wifey.

great observation, all this time i thought i was alone...

By: dave

dave — Sat, 02 Aug 2003 15:10:03 +0000

I love this story. A similar thing happened to me as well but it ended with this sort of cathartic experience where I’m standing there in a rain storm, ripped shirt, arms stretched out, screaming WHYYYYY!!? Water and tears streaming, lightening glimpsing my insanity etc etc.

One of the keys to having an organized and successful life is to sit down and look at yourself in the mirror and say, very slowly, “computer, you are the literal spawn of Satan, sent here to make humans feel intelligent, all the while dragging each and every one of us slowly into Lucifer’s hot embrace.” I’ve learned how to speak as you spoke there at my current employment; but it is incorporated into any typical conversation no matter how innocent (you know, instead of saying, “let’s go eat lunch”, you insert a couple of dozen F words and refer to sexual anatomy, then look around and make sure that everyone is nodding, as if to say, “yep, we bad”). I’m soon quitting so if you feel like working in a small town Texas oilfield, they are looking for bright men not ashamed of making Anna Nicole Smith blush with language. Sailor’s come here to learn how to talk. I’m quitting for obvious reasons. Please don’t come here for work. I was lying. Why do I do that?

By: andrew

andrew — Sat, 02 Aug 2003 07:48:18 +0000

i imagine josh as sort of a tall pirate doing jazz hands.

By: adrienne

adrienne — Sat, 02 Aug 2003 07:25:52 +0000

By the way, if anyone is wondering, the two emails shown in this post are completely real. Josh really sent his, and that is the real response. I know this administrative assistant and she is hilarious too. Furthermore, all of the letters, emails etc. that Josh ever shares on this site are one hundred percent totally real. Josh has what you might call chutzpah, or for our sassier readers, a lot of “pizazz.” Complete with jazz hands. Do you know what those are? If so, you may have a lot of pizazz as yourself. (Don’t worry J-dawg, I don’t think you have jazz hands at all).

By: Grettir

Grettir — Sat, 02 Aug 2003 06:48:17 +0000

I spent two years of my life on a team whose sole purpose was to create an Intranet that knew who you were. It was exactly what you want. It was a single sign-on, customized, personalized, information portal that was totally and completely user-centric. And I'm here to tell you that it can be done.

That is, it can be done if the internal marketing department doesn't decide that branding takes precedence over all else. It can be done if the operations groups actually talk to anyone else in the company. It can be done if the HR department doesn't believe that it is the absolute owner and controller of all employee data. It can be done if every department in the company isn't welded to it's own proprietary, brain-dead, backwards, harebrained business process that someone pulled out of their posterior ten years ago. And it can be done if you own and control each and every server, application, and database within the company.

In other words, it can't be done.

By the time our particular project was dismantled, it had become such a kludged together, unwieldy, and invasive piece of crap that anyone in their right mind would go to great lengths to find ways to circumvent it or avoid it completely.

Where we once had an annoying, haphazard Intranet with isolated pockets of brilliance and usefulness, there is now a single, centralized, controlling, bureaucratic monster where any sign of life is leapt upon and suffocated immediately.

When the gh0ds want to punish you, they answer your prayers...