Greatest Pick-Up Line
I will now tell you the story of the greatest pick-up line of all time.
In college I was in an enormous biology class, we’re talking like 600 people, that met in a huge auditorium. We were discussing genetics and height. I can’t remember what the point of the exercise was, but the professor had every one stand up. Then he had everyone who wasn’t at least a certain height sit down again. He started with “If you aren’t 4 feet or taller, sit down” (How would we ever know if they were standing?). It ended at 6’1“ for the girls and 6’6” for the guys.
I was the last guy standing and a couple of rows behind me was the last girl standing, who, besides being 6’1“, happened to be kinda cute. We smiled at each other, clearly the superior beings in the auditorium. As class was let out I walked up to her with a smile and said, ”How would you like to breed a super race?“ Inexplicably, she said, ”Sure“.
I had been expecting a dirty look, not a yes. In fact, I wasn’t really trying to ask her out. I just sometimes have a problem with NOT acting on the bizarre thoughts that pop into my head. I was once walking to class by myself when I saw a girl wearing one of those giant puffy shiny silver winter coats. I stopped her and said, ”Moon girl, were you followed from your ship?! It isn’t safe to talk here, follow me.“ She, surprisingly, did give me a dirty look, which amused me to no end.
The true power of the pick-up line is clear when you know that I was not trying to pick her up and we still ended up seeing each other for a few weeks.
(I am glad I got past my elementary understanding of genetics and married Adrienne. She is a shameful 5’3”, but I think the super race is here.)
A lot of people are coming here looking for actual pick up lines. Feel free to use mine, but I can’t guarantee the results. The resources below might help you find some other pick up lines.
Here’s one to use on the dance floor:
You don’t sweat much for a fat chick.
I’ve used this doozy and let’s just say if a reaction is all you want, this is a surefire way to get it.
See, I would just die of laughter if anyone ever threw me the “moon girl” line. Also, probably never wear the coat again.
this guy once actually told my friend jill, that damn, she’s got some junk in her trunk. they did not, for some reason, hook up.
She would have melted at the super race line.
Try asking the next complete female stranger “Do you want to get some pizza and make-out?” When they look agast respond “What, you don’t like pizza?”
A possible explanation for the positive response from, what we short guys call, the Amazon: she was not asked out much by other tall men (if at all).
Now I am not saying that tall girls are unattractive, just intimidating on many levels. This is especially true for guys of my height– 5’7″. (Despite my smallish frame I am informed, by my wife, that I am a great lover).
A roommate of my wife’s from collage who was around 5’10” complained incessantly about guys who were 6’2″ and over who left the fold and dated short women. You obviously are her Hitler. Ironic, seeing as she wanted to continue the so called “Super-Human” tradition.
Me: So what do you do for a living Girl: I work at a battered women’s shelter. Me: Funny, ’cause I was kinda thinking of punching you in the face.
She gave me her number after that, so y’all can use that one if you’d like.
I think the cutest pickup line I ever got was, “Ever since I saw you I’ve been looping recursive subroutines.” Hmmm…..on second thought, he turned out to be a jerk. Nevermind.
I’ve never been any good at pickup lines. About the closest I’ve come to a good pickup line is… well, it needs a little background:
My first year at BYU, I went to a few dances where the girls outnumbered the guys by about six to one. You might think that would make it easy for a guy to ask a girl to dance, but that’s not necessarily true. The girls would be in groups talking together, and it’s somewhat awkward to break into the group to ask one of them to dance.
So I sometimes used this approach.
“Excuse me.”
All the girls look to see which one I am going to ask to dance.
“I’ve just gotten word from Salt Lake that they’re bringing back polygamy. Would you all like to dance?”
It actually worked pretty well at the time. I don’t know that i’d use that approach now, though.
I met the tall girl in question, and her friend tried to pawn her off on me to help her get over Josh. Needless to say I did not take the bait and I took my 6’4″ self and married a 5’4″ cutie pie. I also had the unfortunate task of home teaching a 6’3″ girl who had a crush on me. However I guarantee that we would not have made a Super-race together.
I wonder how an incomplete female stranger would respond to the pizza make-out line.
I’m glad you noticed my poor choise of prose and felt compelled to mock me for it. I cannot apologize for not proofreading my posts, but I can only give them the attention the rest of my written communications recieve. I know seth was aptly name because in the scriptures is says that Seth was a perfect man. Martin is a deciededly imperfect man, who only mantra is “Good prose is clear and consise” Was my meaning unclear to the “Perfect Man” Or perhaps I waxed on at length about a humorus conversation starter. In my book I succeeded.
My post was nice. Seth’s was yucky.
You’re 6.6? Damn, .3 taller than me, which makes me not worthy. Where’s the QT movie of you dunking? ;) Coincidentally, the difference in height between you and your wife is the same between me and my wife.
to qoute, I just sometimes have a problem with NOT acting on the bizarre thoughts that pop into my head.
to qoute, I was once walking to class by myself when I saw a girl wearing one of those giant puffy shiny silver…
when they came out with those silver metalic pants i used to try, in a completely sincere way, to stick magnets on them. when it didnt work i’d test it on some other metal like i was trying to see if the magnet was broken. Usually the girl told me to get away or laughed (which surprised me).
hey here’s a good pick up line
Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?
i once said to a girl “buy me dinner, and then let’s go make out”
she said ok, and then like the shy loser i was, i told her i was just kidding. man, i suck.
Breeding a super race…? My current boyfriend is a whopping 6’10” and I am 5’7″ Maybe someday we will contribute to that super race!
HA!
Here is a good one if your caught looking at a girls butt.
Girl: What are you doing? Guy: Nothing, i just wish mine looked like that.
Guarenteed laugh…
do i know you.. coz i dont recognize u in those clothes?
Heres a funny one: Are your parents retarded cause you sure are special!
I would honeslty love it if more guys came out with nerdy pick up lines more often, its such a great ice breaker, and if youre originally funny, trust me you get major points!
man, it was great, true story; so i walk up this one chick (she played D&D, thank god), and asked her if she was using a charisma charm. she just looked at me like ‘are you serious?’ then i went on to say we should’ve vanquished the darkness from this land, with me as the battle mage, and you as my druid priest. she never talked to me again.
or the one I just had with another friend, she still talks to me. i said, “how would you like to go see the war-torn mountains of shiv? i hear they’re lovely this time of the year.”
ah, christ, fun times
if your right leg was Christmas and your left leg was new years would you mind if i visited in between holidays?
People say that god is love, so why don’t we go back to my place and make some God?
I have a really cute one- I wish I was adenine so I could be paired with U” I f any guy said that to me, he would get major brownie points. I love smart guys. =]
I have a really cute one- I wish I was adenine so I could be paired with U” I f any guy said that to me, he would get major brownie points. I love smart guys. =]