Interface Nightmare #9
This job is the only one I have ever had where the company didn’t subsidize the vending machines. In fact, based on the ninety cent candy, I have begun to suspect that my company brings in most of its revenue through employee vending machine purchases. I also suspect that the people that set the prices on the vending machines are related to the movie theater concession stand price-setters. They will surely share a little piece of hell together.
Anyway, I rarely buy anything from the vending machines, but struck with the urge to snack at 4 p.m., I had no choice. I put in my $8.95 and chose E10, Skittles.
I can eat Skittles because I have been eating organic yogurt, fruit, and granola for breakfast. That is such a virtuous breakfast that I will probably go straight to heaven for eating it. Back to buying Skittles…
“E 1…Wait, where’s the 0…there’s no zero! What!? What is E1…Oh no!”
The numbers were laid out like this: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
I had expected them to be like this: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0
I evaluate and help design website and software interfaces for a living. It is not an easy job, and when I screw up, people get frustrated, and we make less money. Some people design things like the interfaces in airplane cockpits. When they screw up planes go down in flames.
Whoever designed this interface screwed up and there were far more drastic consequences—I tried to buy Skittles and got a Salted Nut Roll!
The offending (and offensive) item.
A little known fact—95% of all salted nut roll purchases are accidental.
I was horrified as I watched the Salted Nut Roll slide out of E1 and tumble down. I can admit that I let out a shriek or two and jumped around yelling, “No no no no no no no!” Josh C., who witnessed this, had tears in his eyes, but I suspect that they weren’t actually tears of sympathy as he later claimed.
All was not lost however, Peter, a coworker and friend, purchased the Salted Nut Roll from me. I am a little surprised that he jumped at my offer of, “Fifty cents and you walk away with the Salted Nut Roll and my eternal contempt.” Peter apparently values Nut Rolls very much and my contempt very little.
Comments
“A little known fact—95% of all salted nut roll purchases are accidental”
Lesser known fact: The other 5% are bought by my parents.
Posted by: ruTh | December 24, 2004 02:57 PM
if they would just cover it with chocolate and replace that inside with something like carmel - then you have something. In fact i suspect that salted nut rolls are actually not meant to be eaten as candy but are actually ingredients of a do-it-yourself candy fiesta.
Posted by: John Penrod | December 24, 2004 06:15 PM
The salted nut roll is the reason why your not permited to feed animals at the zoo!!!!
Posted by: Howard Roark | December 25, 2004 09:07 PM
You could have gotten something worse like BBQ Pork Rinds. Fried Pork Skin is always a delicious treat in the afternoon. Pork Skin really satisfies.
Posted by: JUSTIN | December 26, 2004 08:37 AM
“The US #1 Virginia peanuts, which constitute almost half the bar, are inspected most stringently before they even enter our factory by sophisticated electronic eyes. After this procedure, they are vacuum-packed and nitrogen-flushed and then held in cold storage to ensure freshness.
“Once they are brought to our kitchens, the peanuts are again visually sorted, lightly salted, and then go directly into production of the Pearson’s Salted Nut Roll to become the crunchy outer coating for the caramel enrobed nougat center.” —Pearson Candy website
I think it’s the nitrogen-flush and the caramel enrobing process that really set the Pearson’s Salted Nut Roll apart, but I’m sure it doesn’t hurt that they enter the factory through those sophisticated electronic eyes.
Posted by: "Nut Roll" Pete | December 27, 2004 02:13 PM
The same thing has happened to me, except I got DOTS instead of Hot Tamales. I honestly think that vending machine suppliers put all of the crap items in the 1 slot knowing that it is the only way they can sell items like Salted Nut Rolls or Dots, thus causing the customer to dump another buck in the machine to get the originally intended item. Damn you vending machine supplier and your brilliant business strategy!!
Posted by: rob | December 28, 2004 11:14 AM
A box of Junior Mints at Movies 8 costs $3. The same box at WalMart costs 88˘. I’m a lot less likely to join an anti-WalMart picket line than an anti movie theater concession stand price-setter picket line. You’re right - the underworld was not just meant for Orpheus.
Posted by: Brian | January 4, 2005 03:53 PM
I’m with Rob. I suspect that the vending machine interface is working according to diabolic design, and was created by Pearsons to increase the accidental sale of Salted Nut Rolls. Are all of the “10” slots filled with tempting goodies and the “1” slots stocked with others of the pooh-log-rolled-in-peanuts ilk?
Posted by: john | January 5, 2005 12:55 PM