Busiest Man Alive Part II
I thought I had met the busiest man alive, but I was completely wrong. Today I met the real busiest man alive.
He was using the urinal next to me and EATING A HAM SANDWICH! I so wish I was making this up, believe me, but there he was. I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, maybe he was walking along with a ham sandwich when a bathroom crisis occured. But no, he wasn’t just holding the ham sandwich, he was taking bites and eating it. I know I should have said something to him, or at least hit him in the back of the head, but I was too shocked to react.
Who brings a sandwich into the bathroom at all? Everyone knows that any food object that gets within twelve feet of a urinal is no longer edible. If I am chewing gum as I walk past the bathroom I walk on the other side of the hall just so I don’t cross the twelve foot barrier.
When you are so busy that your eating and urination schedules have to overlap you have miss-planned your day.
How did he wash his hands while holding a sandwich? I swear you should be able to call the cops on people like that. Or at least punch them in the kidneys.
That’s pretty disgusting.
Perhaps you could have calmly turned toward him and began peeing on him, or better yet, on his sandwich. That would have at least made him think twice about taking another bite, but considering what he was already doing, he might not have minded it.
It is a frequent joke here in my office. I do Property Management and Real Estate Sales. Often (especially during the recent downpours here in LA) you cannot escape the phones. This is especially true of one of the Bigwigs who seems to time his phone calls with his time on the throne. It is especially fun because the unisex bathroom is within earshot of most of the employees so we get to hear his conversations punctuated with various bodily sounds. So far no eating though.
If I had my way I wouldn’t even bring my clothes into the bathroom. They should have a foyer where you could leave them, change into disposable slippers, and return to your germ free clothes when finished.
not even sure what to say to that
not what to say to joe’s comment but what to say to ham sandwich man!
This is why I’ve never ever ever…ever…ever…ever…..(shiver) ever use the bathroom when I’m at my highschool!
Oh by the way I’m your nephew, Sue’s kid, I’ve never posted here but you got mad at all those strangers who never post so I decided to reveal my identity.
My father in Law’s brother who will remained un-named to protect his identity because after all he is a high school principle in Arizona (town will also remain unknown) works construction during the summer vacation to supplement his income. He regularly eats lunch in the Andy Gump so he will have more time to eat after he gets out. Either he is the most disgusting person in the world or a Franklin Covey genius.
Josh, Just remember that the smell in the bathroom is actually molocules in the air – little particles of what you are smelling, and by the very act of smellig them you bring them into your body. So by extension you are eating bits of that smell the guy in the next stall just created. I hope that thought forever ruins your life. Or at least haunts you for a few days.
I once saw a man set his soft-serve ice cream on top of the urinal and then pick it up and resume licking. I would have offered to at least hold it for him but he damage was done.
It’s not just the germs that bother me–it’s the connection made between stuff going in the body and the processed stuff going out of the body. I don’t like to make that connection, except in a abstract, theoretical manner.
I can think of few things worse than eating a salted nut roll during one’s daily BM. (Maybe drinking lemon-lime Gatorade while standing at the urinal?)
I beat sooo you bad. Last Night I was at a volleyball game at university and I waked into guy who just finished using the urinal and eating POPCORN. Delicious? yes. Time conserving? Undoubtedly. In any way decent? Negatory.
I wanted to throw up all over myself.
I just feel sorry for his friend who he went back to sit with, who shared the bucket of popcorn.
Hey, I work at Franklin Covey and none of my Coveyites would ever, ever, ever do that. Ever.
I was out on a date one night when my date came back to the table with a disgusted look on his face. The guy at the table over had not washed his hands, come out from the bathroom and was feeding his date food, with said hands. yeah. (I still get sick thinking about it.)
I am convinced that nothing can do more damage to a persons reputation than to suggest that they do not wash their hands after using the toilet. I am sure Josh remembers when a woman in our student ward let slip that she gets upset with her husband because he doesn’t wash his hands after patronizing the WC. Nice guy, yet I never saw him the same way after that, and was reluctant to even shake hands.
Unfortunately, “too shocked to act” makes all too much sense to me…
A few years ago, I attended a Monet exhibit at the Portland Museum of Art. It was incredible — there weren’t all the laser alarms and thick glass, just some garden variety movie theater velvety barriers — you could walk up next to the painting and view it in profile. The canvases were huge — 6×9 or so — and I was amazed at the texture of the paint, there was so much of it.
Apparently, the freedom was a little bit much for one of the patrons. That she walked up, as we all had, and viewed the work closely didn’t particularly bother me — it was when she reached out with a fingernail and audibly scratched the irreplaceable painting by the dead master painter.
…Which brings us back to “too shocked to act”. I found myself looking dumbly at my two friends, gesticulating wildly and incapable of speech — just like them. By the time we had reeled our jaws back in, she was long gone…