Children Will Find Our Faces in the Stars at Night
My twin brother Joe has been trying to convince me to go into business with him. We were chatting about it and I had to walk away from my computer for a while. He continued messaging me while I was gone and this is what I returned to find:
that’s why you want to do business with me josh
the people will love us
we may inadvertently end up running a small country
and not even know it
we’ll just check our tax status and find out we are exempt due to the religious following we have acquired
kittens will follow us through the streets and hobos will pour a bit of their 40’s out for us around their flaming trash barrels
children will find our faces in the stars at night
and migrant laborers will sing songs of our exploits in their native tongues as they pick strawberries
drinks will be named after us
as will aircraft carriers
birds will practice new songs to sing as we walk by
and squirrels will bring us their stores of nuts and leave them at our doorstep
can you not see that you need to go into business with me?
can you not see that we will rock the world?
“the Penrod twins are tall and thin. I caught a glimpse of them the other day. I wept as they passed and tipped my glass and sang please, please don’t walk away!”
that was an Irish drinking song that will be written about us
are you unconscious? Sometimes that happens if I don’t keep my skills on “low”
sorry about that
when you wake up you will feel rested and have a pleasant taste in your mouth.
That is also a side effect of my sales pitch
it will pass in a few minutes (as much as you might hope it won’t)
Comments
Wow. What are you going to be doing when you join him to start that business? You ARE joining him, right?
Posted by: James | January 27, 2006 08:08 PM
“the Penrod twins are tall and thin. I caught a glimpse of them the other day. I wept as they passed and tipped my glass and sang please, please don’t walk away!”
I’ll sing that!
Posted by: Adriaan | January 27, 2006 09:53 PM
That’s a heck of a sales pitch. I don’t see how you can resist. I have come to the conclusion that the only way this world will be right for me is if I can find a way to make money doing something with my friends. I sure hope chaz learns a few things a UCLA cause I won’t have much to offer in the way of business savvy. You got to have savvy.
Posted by: poweredbyapathy | January 30, 2006 07:07 PM
Josh, if you don’t go into business with Joe, then I will!
Posted by: Benjamin Read | January 31, 2006 09:20 AM
If I don’t hear back from Josh soon, you’re in Ben!
Posted by: Joe | January 31, 2006 03:31 PM
i would like to submit my resume as the faux penrod triplet, shall i send a copy to both of you of my qualifications and experience?
Posted by: savoury toothed tiger | February 1, 2006 08:08 AM
Reminded me if the first page of David Sedaris’s “Naked”:
(The reverend says) our faces brought him closer to God. And it’s true, we’re terribly good-looking people. They’re using my mother’s profile on the new monorail token… the people at NASA want to design a lunar module based on the shape of our skulls. Our cheekbones are aeronautic…
See for yourself
Posted by: chris willis | February 2, 2006 04:23 PM
Joe - this is too close to my ‘watch this space text’:
when you wake up you will feel rested and have a pleasant taste in your mouth.
I demand you withdraw it or i will have to sue you, it’s not because i want to you understand, i will have to.
Posted by: John | February 2, 2006 09:49 PM
While I won’t deny that “watch this space” is brilliant, I’m not sure you can copywrite “rest”. I attribute any similarities not to plagerism, but to genetics. You create websites that leave people relaxed and revitalized and my sale spitch leaves people rested and with a pleasant taste in their mouths. Only our shared DNA can explain it fully.
Posted by: Joe | February 2, 2006 10:25 PM
I’m glad to report that Joe and I have resolved the issue of him using my results in his sales technique. I look forward to my 10% of gross revenue. Joe’s confusing came from his misunderstanding of a copywrite, where in fact he needed to be worried about a patent.
Posted by: john | February 3, 2006 02:58 PM
Could we be triplets? I will go into business with you. Besdies, I do believe people already worship me.;)
Posted by: Katy | February 16, 2006 09:40 AM
Katy, are you 6’4” or taller? That is one of the requirements for Penrod twinhood.
Posted by: joe | February 16, 2006 12:25 PM
Really, have you EVER gotten a pitch like this from anywhere? You should jump on this!
Plus, if you both are indicted for some sort of business crime where the evidence involved DNA, you’d be each other’s reasonable doubt. That alone is reason enough to go into some sort of enterprise with the man! (I have ID twins of my own, we’ve got this all planned out for them. They don’t have their own Irish drinking songs, though, so even among twins you guys are above and beyond…)
Posted by: Jen | February 16, 2006 08:35 PM
…kittens will follow us through the streets and hobos will pour a bit of their 40’s out for us around their flaming trash barrels…
I feel so happy and at peace. Is this what you will market?
May I be a silent partner. It would be difficult, but I’m willing to try. I’m 5’ 1&3/4”. Is that close enough?
How about if I just jump all the time to make up the difference?
Posted by: Rowan | February 17, 2006 02:00 PM