Indignities Suffered Today
I got a flu shot today. My wife went first and raved to the nurse, “That was the best shot I have ever gotten. I didn't feel anything!” This both pleased the nurse and made her nervous. She seemed to feel this was a lot to live up to and stuttered a thank you as I sat down to get my shot.
I barely felt the needle go in. I too was the recipient of the greatest shot ever, for about half a second. Then, as she started to push down the plunger the nervous nurse somehow pulled the needle out of my arm and sprayed the rest of the flu shot on my elbow.
Her second attempt was not the best shot of my life; it was awful. I think she hit a nerve. What happens when you get 1.5 flu shots (and .5 topical application of vaccine)? Am I going to die? Or never get sick again?
At lunch today I turned and bashed my head on a lamp hanging from the ceiling. A metal lamp, shaped like a cymbal. A heavy metal cymbal that left a lump on the side of my head and made an enormous gong sound alerting the entire restaurant to the fact that I had just bashed my head in.
Comments
Man, it sounds like you had a rough day. But, at least you’re now immune to any virus known to man.
Posted by: Pete Abilla | November 14, 2006 09:18 AM
That’s a good list, but a little short I think. If you only suffered 2 indignities in a given 24 hour period, I’d call that a pretty good day.
Posted by: B | November 14, 2006 11:43 AM
I always thought that would be a good business. Make your company/business safe from tall guys. For a nominal fee I will come to your place of business and absentmindedly wander around. Any items in head knocking range will be ranked. 1. Hey, that messed up my hair. 2. That is going to leave a mark and/or give me a headache. 3. I have been knocked unconscious.
Posted by: Kerry | November 14, 2006 12:53 PM
Oh man, you made my day ;)
Posted by: Adriaan | November 15, 2006 08:26 AM
Admit it: you jumped when the needle went in. “…the nervous nurse SOMEHOW pull the needle out of my arm”, my fanny!
I wish I’d been there to hear the big “gong.” I’d have snorted root beer out of my nose…and THEN asked whether you were all right.
Maybe you could make some cymbal cozies for the restaurant as a holiday gift, and to prevent further litigation by disgruntled Goliaths. A nice pre-quilted calico, perhaps…
Posted by: jenny | November 16, 2006 01:28 AM
Oh man Josh, That was hilarious. I love laughing at you, not with you. Thanks for the highlight humor of this week.
Posted by: Esther | January 23, 2007 05:25 PM