So, Many of you have seen the post from March 7 and know that I proposed to my girlfriend Veeda but many have asked for details and chided me for doing it over the internet. First, I want to thank all of you who have been so kind and supportive and well wishing to myself and Veeda, individually and collectively. Second, I would like to state clearly that I did not propose over the internet. I used my website and the posting you all saw as part of my scheme but I did the old fashioned thing and proposed in person. So, here's the story for you:
Veeda and I have been talking about marriage for a little while and had already gone a ways in making our plans for a June wedding without any formal asking or much more than a series of cooperative mutual assumptions. Without going into too many intimate details (please don't misunderstand this phrase, I'm merely referring to life situations with future plans and family issues) there was a bit of zeitgeist leading into all of this. Things were kind of catapulted forward by the surrounding circumstances and the serendipity of family events both happy and foreboding which led me to be left at a kitchen table in Veeda's aunt's house on super bowl Sunday with her father at the other end asking me what my intentions were with his daughter. I was a bit embarrassed and surprised but I was reasonably comfortable with the whole thing. I was actually more nervous about it after the fact. The next day I became slightly terrified of her father; I suppose because I was more keenly aware of the fact that he would be watching me closely and would visit my body with terrible punishment if I made his daughter cry tears (unless they were caused by joy, of course). Or maybe it was just the fact that I could no longer go on casually and biding my time untill I screwed something up irrevocably. I was comitted now and it was awesome and terrifying at the same time. This event was significant for all of the usual reasons, but also because her father and mother had come from the Phillipines (where they live currently) only a few days previous to get her mother more adequate medical attention to a grave condition. Veeda is not, by the way, filipino or from the Phillipines. Her Dad is retired from the Army and works for the embassy. So, events just kind of pushed the future upon us a little more quickly.
So, a couple weeks ago Veeda and I made a trip down to Las Vegas to visit my mother over the long weekend. This trip was really great and really bad and really really great and all of that helped us a lot. Anyway, on Monday morning (the day we were leaving to return to Northern California) we went to the jewelry store owned by my former Boy Scout Leader (definitely not a pedophile, he's awesome). The store was closed that day for inventory and because it was President's Day but we had a special invitation to come and look at rings. We had the whole place to ourselves. I invited my mother along so we could take her to get some errands done on the way. I was planning on just getting some idea of what she liked and then trying to find something like that another time on my own. My old scout leader and his wife brought out the rings and explained all the details etc. Veeda tried on scads of rings (I've never actually used the word "scads" before but I've read a few times recently and it seemed to fit although it seems more like something a girl would write). Some of them were very nice and some were very funny and some were very expensive and rediculous. When she put on the ring which you saw in the previous post, time slowed down and the angels sang. I'm kind of serious about that. It left an impression on me. It made an impression on my mother and Veeda as well. I felt like Veeda's hand ought to be wearing that ring and that I should do whatever I needed to to make sure it got there. I arranged for the payment of the ring and tried my best to keep it out of conversation thereafter so that there would be some possibility of a surprise when I gave Veeda the ring she knew she was getting.
The ring took a full week after completion and payment to make it to San Francisco. Apparently, when you send something like that with insurance everyone who touches the box has to sign something and the thing is watched very carefully. That's a good thing but I was looking for that thing everyday and getting quite anxious to move into that "officially engaged" state of existence. The ring arrived Monday the 7th at my office. I was worthless the rest of the day. I just couldn't stop thinking about the ring. It was amazing to look at. All sparkles the thing. I hadn't really planned out how I was going to do this exchange and proposal and I was affraid it would be rather anti-climactic since we already had a wedding date set (June 11th, 2005 in the LDS Temple in Oakland). I had only decided that I would drive to San Jose to surprise her with it as soon as I got it. It was tempting to hold on to it cause she was coming up to San Francisco the next evening to spend time with me, and that would have given me time to plan, but I thought it would be better to make the trip.
So, I had asked Veeda to a Prom party we had thrown a week ago by way of my weblog and she is an avid reader of it so I thought I would post a proposal so it could be sort of public and let everyone else know what we were doing. I also knew that she would not be expecting me to come down that night. I hoped she would not have read the blog while I was in the middle of my hour drive to get there. I stopped to buy her some lavender flowers (her favorite color is purple) and parked accross the street from her complex. While still accross the street I sent her a text message telling her to check my blog right away. I got a little worried when i get to her gated complex cause the gate was closed but I was able to stretch my 6'3" frame enough to push the handle on the other side and open the gate. I got the gate open and walked to her 3rd story apartment.
Veeda had been eating dinner with her cousin and headed to her room to change out of her work clothes when she heard the phone ring. She had the phone on the charger and would not have heard it if she had not been in her room at that brief moment. She logged on to the interweb and typed in my blog address. Veeda said she thought, "hmmm, Brendan posted some pictures. I hope none of them are too bad." Then she scrolled down to the bottom of the post and saw the proposal. The picture of the ring hadn't even loaded yet. About that time her heart began to beat and she was kind of stunned. Simultaneous with her reading the last line of the post I was standing on her doorstep knocking on the door. Veeda hadn't had any time to collect herself and was in a mild state of shock when she went to get the door and thought it was her roomate home from the gym. Then she saw me standing there and was just speachless and a little nervously frantic. She had just put on her pajama pants and insisted that she put on pants. She wanted to go out onto the balcony for some privacy. We walked out and still nervous and excited I knelt down and asked her if she would marry me. I'm sorry to say I used no flowery or new wave words to propose but I'm also kind of glad I didn't try to overdo it. I did try to put the ring on the wrong had at first by accident, though. She didn't actually say anything she just gasped and smiled and exclaimed and hugged me and I figured I was in the clear. When asked later what her official answer was she said that it was indeed a "yes" and she didn't realize she hadn't actually answered me. I saved my flowery romantic sincere poetic words for after the fact but I won't repeat them here (I promise they weren't dirty or vulgar, just sweet). So, at long last I am going to marry an amazing and beautiful girl who I have no business being with. That's exactly what I've always wanted.
Will you marry me?