Amishrobot

Ferry in the Fog [Flickr]

amishrobot — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 22:31:21 -0600

amishrobot posted a photo:

We took the Bremerton to Seattle ferry in the evening. The dark and fog made it a lot more of an adventure.

When this ferry passed by in the fog I was pretty sure it was actually a ghost ship or maybe pirates. Possibly pirate ghosts.

Bremerton Harborside Park [Flickr]

amishrobot — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 22:31:16 -0600

amishrobot posted a photo:

The park is beautiful! These fountains go off like volcanos every so often. I wish I had a real camera

The park is beautiful! These fountains go off like volcanos every so often. I wish I had a real camera and not my iphone.

Bremerton Harborside Park [Flickr]

amishrobot — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 22:31:14 -0600

amishrobot posted a photo:

Bremerton Harborside Park [Flickr]

amishrobot — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 22:31:12 -0600

amishrobot posted a photo:

Stars [Flickr]

amishrobot — Sat, 29 Nov 2008 02:24:37 -0600

amishrobot posted a photo:

"I'd like to see this horizontal and cropped a bit so it looks like a wall. "

Well, there you go. Not sure that it works for me though.

Hitting the Wall

Mon, 17 Nov 2008 23:58:05 -0700

My summer job in college was working for my volleyball coach. We would travel around putting on volleyball camps at high schools.

We drove or flew out to random high schools in places like Arco Idaho, or Truth or Consequences New Mexico, and spent a few days coaching volleyball teams. We usually stayed with the coaches or a parent of a player and they would somehow feel obligated to feed and entertain us as well. So my days consisted of waking up, coaching and playing volleyball, maybe work out, and then go water skiiing or horse back riding or fishing. We would be back home for the weekends. A pretty amazing job really.

The one downside was that I always got the 9th grade girls to coach. Supposedly this was because it was my first year doing it, but I suspect it may have had something to do with the fact that though I played for the best, or one of the best, teams in the nation, I never really seemed to bother learning anything beyond my own position. I could always tell the middle hitters exactly where they should be and what they should be doing, but outside hitting? Back row? Oh, let’s not even talk about me teaching people to set. Picture Shaq teaching people to shoot free throws.

A side note: I found the best way to coach 9th grade girls was to make them run lines until they were too tired to be annoying. I intend to use this strategy when my girls get to that age. In fact, my one and a half year old could stand to run some lines right now. She is upstairs screaming “out!” because she has decided sleep is optional.

Back to volleyball camps… After driving back from a camp in Idaho, I dropped my coaching partner off in Salt Lake and headed south to Orem, about a 45 minute drive. I was exhausted and it was a brutally hot day and I was fighting to stay awake. I hadn’t been that tired the rest of the drive, but the fatigue hit me about 10 minutes from home. Ten minutes from pulling into my driveway and I reached that mode where I was pretty sure driving with only one eye shut would be smart, “Only half of me is sleeping!” or the even better, “Let’s see, the road is pretty straight, if I just close my eyes for 5 seconds…”

I was so tired that I had to pull over. I was driving down State Street in Orem, just a few blocks left to go and I couldn’t do it! Pathetically, I could not drive another second. I pulled over behind a Radio Shack, parked, and set my watch to wake me in ten minutes. I closed my eyes and was instantly asleep.

When my watch alarm went off I just heard a crazy beeping noise, a horn maybe? and woke up sitting in the driver’s seat of my car with my hands on the steering wheel looking at a brick wall. I yelled, stomped on the brakes, and I hate to admit this, but I HONKED the horn. I honked the horn at a brick wall. “Get out of my way brick wall that has somehow appeared in the middle of the road! Get out of my way! How did this wall get in the middle of the road!? This is really poor urban planning! If I survive I am going to write to the Mayor!” I managed to stop just inches from the wall. Nice driving Josh! When I was awake enough to know what just happened and my heart had stopped pounding I drove off before anyone came to investigate the random horn blast.

I would be embarrassed to tell the story except that, seriously, that was a pretty mellow reaction for having a giant brick wall appear in front of your car.

All Things Considered

Mon, 08 Sep 2008 23:28:54 -0700

My wife is not impressed with my extensive knowledge of all subjects.

I want her to exclaim “You are a boy genius!” when she says, “Have you heard of Sukkot? and I say, “Oh, the feast of the tabernacles?” Instead she just says, “Yeah”.

When I ask why she isn’t impressed she says, “I just expect you to know everything”, which is nice, but the right answer is, “How can any mortal man have so much knowledge? They should give you an honorary doctorate in All Things.”

Landlubbers exasperate me

Sat, 21 Jun 2008 02:51:40 -0700

An email exchange between Mark and I. It would help if you knew that Mark had talked about moving to Olympia and living on a boat.

On Wed, Jun 18, 2008 at 11:44 AM, Mark wrote:

Seriously, do it!

http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/sf/liveaboard-retired-tugboat-for-sale-053869

12:01 PM, Josh wrote:

Oh my gosh!

Now you are seriously regretting your SF move! I will buy the tugboat and store it for you until you get out here.

12:01 PM, Mark wrote:

Um, couldn't I just buy it and sail it down here?

12:11 PM, Josh wrote:

Wow, you really don't understand boats do you? She was designed for Pudget Sound water. Once you got her down off the coast of California she would immediately sink.

Landlubber!

12:13 PM, Mark wrote:

Really?

12:16 PM, Josh wrote:

No.

You should buy it and sail it down there smoking a pipe all the way. That would be the best thing ever.

12:22 PM, Mark wrote:

So it wouldn't sink? Because for a minute, I was trying to gauge your seafaring knowledge. Here is my scorecard:

REASONS JOSH MIGHT KNOW WHAT HE IS TALKING ABOUT

He has lived in a port town for a few months now, and probably hangs out with crusty old sailors.

He does own a peacoat

He correctly referred to the boat as "she"

He called me a landlubber

REASONS JOSH MIGHT NOT KNOW WHAT HE IS TALKING ABOUT

He is really tall, and probably wouldn't last long on open water

I think his peacoat is from someplace like Gap, which is not super authentic

He does not have a beard. That seems sort of key.

He is a liar

12:50 PM, Josh wrote:

I admire your methodical approach towards establishing my credibility. Another easy way would be to check out my profile card on tugboatr.com

I attached a screenshot for you.

Respect my System Tray!

Tue, 17 Jun 2008 18:13:26 -0700

I cannot tell you how badly I would like to punch the person who decided that the “Integrity Checkpoint Agent” should constantly animate to display my network activity. If you designed it, do the right thing, and punch yourself.

All day long my eye darts over to see what that movement is and it is NEVER something I need to pay attention to. I am not a network admin or a security consultant or downloading torrents at work. Your app has NO importance to me. And yet, there it is, blinking away constantly, “Look at me! Look at me!”

Ignore the flashing camera icon, that is just SnagIt telling me that it is recording - feedback that was actually useful to me.

Proverbs

Sat, 24 May 2008 14:17:27 -0700

Inspired by Gilbert’s link, I decided to try asking my kindergartner to finish some proverbs. Though at times he seemed to just be attempting to rhyme, I think you will find deep wisdom here.

Better to be safe than…sorry

Strike while the…you are strong

It’s always darkest before…day

Never underestimate the power of…stress

You can lead a horse to water but…it will drink that water

Don’t bite the hand that…plays the band

No news is…perfect

A miss is as good as a…mister

You can’t teach an old dog new…tricks

If you lie down with dogs, you’ll…get peed on

Love all, trust…all

The pen is mightier than the…pin

An idle mind is…blank

Where there’s smoke there’s…a fire

A penny saved is…worth more

Two’s company, three’s…cheese

Don’t put off till tomorrow what…you need to do

Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and…die

None are so blind as…mice

Children should be seen and not…be mean to them

If at first you don’t succeed…keep moving forward

You get out of something what you…need

When the blind leadeth the blind…they get lost

Better late than…really late

Removed one that was getting too much attention

Blogging and Comments

Tue, 13 May 2008 21:34:06 -0700

There is always a lot of debate about the value of allowing comments on a blog.

On the Pro side you have things like:

Comments foster community.
Comments allow readers to add valuable insights to a top
Comments are what makes a blog a blog

On the Con side:

Dang, I can’t even think of any cons to allowing comments! I mean, just look at this comment left just a few minutes ago by an Amishrobot reader from Houston Texas:

A new comment has been posted on your blog Amishrobot, on entry #809 (Pregnancy is Really Hard).

IP Address: 76.203.153.169
Name: heyy
Email Address: ohh@yahoo.com
URL: http://y

“your pathetic of course think of your child and wife stop feeling sorry for your self……She is pregnant suffering way more than you do. oh yeah one thing get over it!!!!!!!!!!!”

Comments rule!

Here's where I have been lately

Sat, 03 May 2008 20:07:31 -0700

http://twitter.com/amishrobot

http://amishrobot.tumblr.com/

Robot

Wed, 12 Mar 2008 18:15:33 -0700

Entirely his own doing.

Moustache

Wed, 12 Mar 2008 00:13:27 -0700

Entirely his own doing.

Conducting an Effective Design Review

Fri, 29 Feb 2008 22:21:55 -0700

When conducting a design review I think it is important to establish the proper relationship with the designer.

Thanks to Mark, who was so impressed with my management skills that he documented my techniques.

I love You Adrienne, Happy Adrienne Day!

Sat, 09 Feb 2008 13:08:30 -0700

It’s Adrienne Day!^*

Do you want to know what Adrienne got for Adrienne Day? See that heart right there? That is from the Holiday font set from House Industries. How great is it that my wife asks for fonts as a present‽ ←What my little font-nerd friends? Did I just drop an interrobang on you? Yes, yes I did.

It is harder to orchestrate a great Adrienne day now that we have three kids, but the way Adrienne deals with them makes me want to give her 365 Adrienne Days. She is far more likely to be drawing, painting, writing, reading, or having a dance party with them than she is to park them in front of the TV. I think that if we were landed gentry with access to the finest tutors in the world our kids minds would not be in better hands than they are in now—or my mind for that matter…

It is the greatest thing in the world to be married to someone like Adrienne. We can talk about anything as equals. The first time we really hung out together in college we ended up talking for 6 hours. We can still talk for 6 hours and never be bored.

Also, she is hot.

Please take a second to wish Adrienne a happy Adrienne Day.

^*Here is a brief history of Adrienne Day.

Best Spam Subject Lines EVER

Tue, 05 Feb 2008 15:13:34 -0700

I opened every single one of these emails hoping I might actually be able to purchase the product promised by the subject line. Wheelchair Sandpaper?! Fire Web!?

Tap tap tap... Anyone out there?

Tue, 29 Jan 2008 01:34:09 -0700

I have had a blog since sometime in early 2000 and I think since about April of 2002 I have posted at least something every month, until late last year where I stopped writing. No big dramatic reason either. I somehow just stopped. Kind of the way I am with shaving, and the reason I end up with a beard every so often.

I think I may have just implied that I grow a beard when I stop writing… Since I don’t have a beard, it must be time to start writing again.

Now, a benefit of not having written anything in a few months—I have gotten rid of everyone but the true believers! OK, now that everyone else is gone, get out your Amishrobot secret decoder rings out.

Ready?

Beginning Transmission…

YTCLO HKYIO UROER OUEEN EOHLE WOHLE WEOTW NADRD UCCVE YDUTI C

Knock yourselves out.*

(Nerds might call this post “meta blogging” and they would say it is the worst thing ever. I think people that say things like “meta blogging” are the worst thing ever.)

(Yes, that is a real secret code.)

*Hint: Columnar Transposition

Pancakes

Wed, 02 Jan 2008 05:40:40 -0700

Anna put an entire giant chocolate chip pancake in her mouth. I like how she has a chocolate streak under her eye like breakfast warpaint.

What's Up Now Timpanogos!?

Thu, 20 Sep 2007 23:20:41 -0700

I wanted to go back up Timp again the same day of my initial retreat but the weather had turned a little stormy. I ended up going back just a couple days later with my brothers-in-law, both of whom are former cross country standouts. I made the mistake of letting one of them take the lead for a while. Joel, I hope no offense is taken, but I was contemplating pushing you off the cliff if I caught up with you.

Besides the whole, never hike with cross country runners lesson, I also learned to never go hiking when you have recently fasted, have only slept for one hour, have an upset stomach, and when you are really out of shape. It was a pretty brutal hike for me, but I will have you know that kid that passed me was actually 8 years old. He only looked like a 4 year old.

Someday I may want to hike Timp again, but at least now it stops looking at me all uppity like.

Some photos from the hike: