Papa November

The life of a fireplace selling artist is an exciting one. The best part is the sheer number of bizzaro people I come in contact with every day.
I've learned that if you are a contractor it is actually illegal to ask for anything in feet, you must say foot. "I need 20 foot of pipe." You must also work the "F" word into the conversation if at all possible. "I need 20 foot of that f-ing double wall pipe."
A woman called today and asked if we sold gas inserts. I replied that we did, and she asked " Do you sell specific models, or...". Or what??!! What does that mean? "No mam, our models are all rather vague."

Posted by joe at 06:34 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

www.cordelltaylor.com

Posted by joe at 11:10 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

I should have studied math

It's 10:54 pm and I've just gotten home from the studio. I should have studied math. I could have been a great math teacher or I could have just set up a small store front business where I did math problems for people. I would have called it "Math for the People". Need to know how many square feet of pink tile you need to cover your entire house? No problem! Trying to figure out how old your dog is in human years? I've got the answer. Wondering how much thrust it would take to get your car airborne? Well, that seems to be more of a question of physics. Plus, I think you have overlooked aerodynamics in your haste to put your car into orbit. I can't answer that one, but I know some people and I'll see what I can do.

But no, I chose to be a painter. Not an honest respectable painter of houses and signs, but a fancy-pants, shiftless artist! An artist who sells fireplaces.

Today a guy called to ask how to light his pilot. I asked if he had access to the internet (there is a step-by-step illustration online). He hesitated a second and said "...err....no, I just have an on and off switch". I am tired. Wake me up when you can surf the web on your fireplace.

Posted by joe at 11:14 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

I am obsessed with shortwave number stations! "Papa November...Papa November.....Achtung.." how crazy is it that you can listen to spy traffic on the radio?!!! I'm also obsessed with the velvet centipede, it shoots glue ! If I owned one I would name him Elvis. I am an 8 year old boy.

Posted by joe at 08:09 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

this is only a test. If it were not a test it would be even less interesting.

Posted by joe at 08:02 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)