Papa November

"A near miss or a close call, I keep a room at the hospital, I scratch my accidents into the wall" - Jawbreaker

Well, Michelle and I just got home from the hospital. This is the second time in one month that some idiot has crashed into her car and sent her to the hospital with contractions. This time she was at a red light when a guy rear-ended her. She seems fine, just a little bruised and with a pretty bad case of whiplash. She was actually still driving the rental car that we have had while they fix our van from the first accident when the lady backed into her. Unbelievable.
Here is a list of our medical adventures since August of 2000

1. open-heart surgery (me)
2. diagnosed with mild epilepsy (me, from the surgery they think)
3. gallbladder removed after gallstone attack (me, again related to heart surgery)
4.pneumonia (Michelle, while pregnant)
6. toximia (Michelle)
5. pre-term labor (Michelle, from 1st accident)
6. whiplash (Michelle, 2nd accident)
7. preterm labor (Michelle, 2nd accident)

Posted by joe at 08:12 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I love this guy's stuff. He shows at Cordell Taylor also.
Check out his CV if you want to feel like a loser.

Posted by joe at 10:57 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Today was exciting in a bad way. Our window washer Norwood had a seizure and hit his head on a grill. He gashed his ear open pretty badly and needed some serious stitches. I called 911. Norwood almost got in a fight with the paramedics, and some guy came in in the middle of it all, walked past the yelling bleading man and the paramedics and asked me about buying a fireplace. He left without ever mentioning or seemingly noticing the sirens and pandemonium around him. One of the firefighters bought some glass cleaner while another one helped stop the bleeding. Nothing can stop the glory of commerce. I spent the rest of the afternoon trying to get blood out of the carpet.

Posted by joe at 10:11 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

1. The guy on the subway meowing like a cat (MEOW! hold the train, MEOW! hold the train.)
2. The guy at the airport that was pretending to only speak russian so the security people would let him stay asleep in a chair in the screening area. ( Security guy- "Move sir", Idiot- "Ruski! Ruski!" guy- "Anyone here speak Italian?" idiot- "Ruski!!!!" guy "French?" idiot "Ruski!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" guy- "move your Ruski out of the security area!" the russian idiot then walks off defeated holding a copy of Seabiscuit (in English) and sits next to me where he makes a call on his cell phone in perfect English.
3. 5 dead rats outside of MOMA Queens.
4. 1 live one

Posted by joe at 12:17 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)