Last night I went
Last night I went to my studio to do some painting. My window overlooks an alley. As I was working at my desk I watched two women walking toward the back door of some run down apartments. One of them was obviously drunk. She kept screaming for the other one to give her something. The other woman said no, which sent the drunk one running like an inebrieted orangutan (arms waving above her head and everything) towards the door, which she promptly hit at full speed. She bounced hard off of it and somehow landed under a van parked near by. She stayed there in the cold for a few minutes until a passerby told her to go inside.
About fifteen minutes later two Guardian Angels came jogging up the alley in full gear; combat boots, red jackets, and the red berets. They peered around some with their flashlights and then jogged off. At first it made me feel a little safer knowing they were out patrolling, then I started to worry about the fact that they needed to be out patrolling. Either way, it keeps things interesting.
I left some chocolate pudding out for the alley dwellers. I figure after all that crack smoking they could use a little calcium. It was gone within five minutes.
Comments
Maybe you should leave out bowls of Total cereal. Judging by the commercials, that should be all the nutrition they need, so they can just focus on smoking their crack.
My only run-in with Guardian Angels was, coincidentally, in Denver. I was waiting outside the Bluebird in about 10 degree weather, wating for the doors to open for a Spiritualized concert. The crowd was pretty agitated, being that the doors were an hour late opening in the brutal weather. I don't know how it started, but 3 patrolling Guardian Angels ended up trading smack talk with kids in line. Didn't leave me with the best impression. I think at least on of them was a Guardian Angel just so he could justify beating people up.
Posted by: mighty josh | January 21, 2004 11:36 AM
In Singapore you could go to the zoo and have high tea with an orangutan - notice how my comment incoporates aspects of your story and Josh's comment?
That is synergy.
Posted by: john | January 21, 2004 07:15 PM
yes yes, as with Vancouver, minus the orangutan.
Posted by: dave | January 28, 2004 01:42 AM
Just a tip for the lactose intolerant or vegan or curious. Don't try to make Jello instant pudding with soy milk. It never thickens up. I tried it when we were out of REAL milk (from a cow of course) and ended up just pouring over my cereal. If you want pudding you need the help of a bovine friend.
Posted by: poweredbyapathy | January 28, 2004 05:26 PM
Does anyone know if orangutans make good pets? It seems like they would be extremely useful. Just keep them from becoming inebrieted.
Hey, what are these Guardian Angels anyway? Are there pictures on the net? Are they vigilantes? we don't have any in Canada, but maybe we need to go and get some. Did Bush bring them in?
Posted by: dave | January 28, 2004 06:23 PM
Bush did not bring them in, though maybe he could send some to Iraq. I haven't formed an opinion on them yet. They patrol bad neighborhoods calling in the cops and placing people under citizen's arrest and such. They have a website, I don't remember it. They started in DC and are now in most big cities. They do a good job, but I am suspect of the motives of some who join.
Posted by: joe | January 28, 2004 09:14 PM