An open letter to the barefoot hippies downtown
Dear bearfoot hippies,
please put on some shoes. The streets are hard and dirty and so are your feet. Do you imagine yourself as a woodland sprite, free to enjoy nature with all of your senses, envied by all as you prance about savouring the contact of your skin with the earth? Your feet are hairy. They are ugly. They are black from asphalt and spilled soda, and hobo spit. The streets are covered in rocks and bits of glass. We do not look at you and see freedom from the rules of “the man”, we see future homeless winos. Homeless winos with nasty feet.
In conclusion; you are really gross. And possibly diseased (from all of that hobo spit). Please return to the woods or put on people clothes.
Sincerely,
everybody else in the whole world
Comments
I just want to sign my name to this!
Josh Penrod
Posted by: Josh | April 30, 2006 09:38 PM
you've changed maaaan! what happened to the cool joe that we all new in college? huh? did the man get to you? what happened to the free-spirited artist that couldn't be told what to do? huh? i don't even know you anymore.
Posted by: Moonbeam Freedom | May 2, 2006 02:53 PM
Somebody had to say it and it's about damn time. Scrawl my signiture to that.
Posted by: brendan | May 14, 2006 05:33 PM
Bare feet are healthy feet. If you don't like 'em, wear sh**s.
Posted by: Barefoot Freedom | July 8, 2006 03:53 PM
See, I think you are missing the point. These are barefeet downtown. I'm not talking about barefeet in your house or at the park or at the beach. These are barefeet on asphalt and concrete. That is not even close to being healthy. There is a reason there are "no shirt, no shoes, no service" signs on businesses. Barefeet are not always so healthy and don't belong in most public places (excluding beaches, parks, or hemp festivals). Also, you can't bring yourself to actually spell the word "shoes"? Is that what you yell when you stub your toe?
Posted by: joe | July 8, 2006 07:21 PM