An open letter to Safeway Brand Instant Oatmeal
I recently purchased a box of your instant oatmeal. May I make a few suggestions? Firstly, I would take the little Golden Delicious sticker off of the apple before chopping it up, dying it orange and calling it a peach. It is unpleasant in the mouth and really makes it hard to pretend you are eating peaches and cream oatmeal. This brings me to my second suggestion. I think the apple core should be left out of the mix. It also weakens the peach illusion and the texture just isn’t right for oatmeal. By following these two simple suggestions you may avoid making lifelong oatmeal enemies in the future. There is of course the possibility that I mistakenly purchased goat feed. I will check the box and if that is in fact the case, you have my sincerest apologies.
Sincerely,
Joe Penrod
Comments
and with a few simple words uttered in moment of dissapointment, the taste still strong in the mouth, with the intent of aiding a store in its humble search of profits a whole brand collapses never to be bought again.
Know your power Joe. use it for good hold it high.
Posted by: Old Prof | September 29, 2006 09:31 AM
I read this letter with a tear in my eye, a tear of joy. A life-long distrust of instant oatmeal has been justified.
Posted by: Anonymous | October 10, 2006 08:31 PM
I found your weblog looking for info on Rilo Kiley. You have a clever writing style and very dry sense of humor. Keep it up :)
Cheers, from Detroit.
Gary
Posted by: Gary Lewis | November 2, 2006 10:46 AM
Thanks for the encouragement!
Posted by: joe | November 2, 2006 10:51 AM