Momma Says Knock You Out
Last week as Josh passed a homeless man on the corner next to my office he turned to Josh and said, “I know 5 forms of artial marts but I only use judo. That’s what my momma said.” We thought that was pretty funny. We were glad that his momma had urged him to use restraint and not unleash all 5 of his fighting styles on passersby.
Yesterday I walked into Old School Pizza and that same man was in line ahead of me. He has about 3 cat carriers strapped to his bike and he turned and asked me if I thought his cats were OK out there or if it was too hot. I said that it was probably OK, but he could move them into the shade if he was worried. Apparently that was the wrong thing to say. He got a very angry look on his face and said, “I know 5 forms of martial arts.” At this point I am thinking- ha, the “artial marts” thing again, but then he finished with, “And I am about to use one of them on you!” He then rolled up his sleeves and took a step towards me. I really didn’t want to get in a fist fight (or Judo I would guess) with a rail thin mentally ill man in my favorite pizza place, so I said, “ok, but how about you do it later because it is your turn to order.” He turned around and looked at the counter then asked me in a suspicious tone, “How long have you lived here, because this sort of heroin can’t be found in this area” and before I could answer he walked out the door.
*I should add that my office overlooks the street corner he usually stands on and as I wrote this I could see him asking everyone walking by if they could “spare some weed”.