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February 23, 2006

Rage On

I just saw a headline that seemed so hopeful until I thought about it a second. It said (says)

Iraq fighting rages

and I thought, “after all this time. Finallly they are fighting those rages. Perhaps its peace in our time.”

but sadly no.

Posted by Old Prof at 10:41 PM | | Comments (0)

WHOLE NEW VISTAS

We have recently received a message from one of our college committees, based on the fact that people are stealing our fire extinguishers. The message reads something like:

Please do not remove fire extinguishers from the room.

this is a gentle reminder to student and faculty that could just as well read:

Please do not steal fire extinguishers.

Since we apparently have the need to remind people of what should be pretty obvious I have now posted the following messages, recommendations really, in my room.

PLEASE DO NOT LIFT FIRE EXTINGUISHER

To Head height

POSITION OVER BIG TOE

And Release.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION

And:

PLEASE DO NOT EXTEND THUMB

AND STICK IN OWN EYE

AND LASTLY:

PLEASE

WHILE DESTROYING MAPS BY MOVING THEM

AND

STACKING THEM ON END

THUS DRIVING SMALL BUT NECESSARY PEG OUT OF MAP CAP

ATTEMPT TO AVOID STIRRING UP CHALK DUST

SOME PEOPLE HAVE ALLERGIES

THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION

Posted by Old Prof at 06:02 PM | | Comments (1)

February 11, 2006

Who?

This may seem like a strange comment in light of all those Islamic protests about the depiction of Mohammed, but how does anyone know what Mohammed looked like?

Posted by Old Prof at 12:19 PM | | Comments (1)

February 07, 2006

He said, She said

Conversations I heard on campus yesterday. First student, on a cell phone:

  1. “You spent three hours on campus? You need a car”.

Different student to different audience:

  1. “No. I couldn’t answer your calls. I was drunk from Saturday morning till late Sunday night”.

and number three, my personal favorite

“Hi. I have schizophrenia. I control it with medication and have been doing pretty well for the past ten years. I just thought you ought to know. I will take the front desk here where it nice and light and just do my best.”

I guess there’s something to learn from that. I just no longer want to guess what.

Posted by Old Prof at 08:56 PM | | Comments (0)