Why It’ll Never Catch On
So there we were coming back from White Water Rafting.
It had been great but exhausting. No one had slept much in the past two nights; those mountain rocks are hard. Jared had been driving for a while. Every one was kind of drowsing except for I guess Jared when suddenly The Only Woman in the crew said something so outrageous that we all woke up. “How are you doing Jared” she said. “Are you getting tired?” “Would you like someone else to drive”.
Every man in the car was shocked by the breech of protocol. Several men quietly blushed. Men don’t handle that problem that way. We wait till Jared says “man I am getting tired”. Then there is a discussion of the statement. “Yeah” someone will say “I’ve been like that”. “Hey remember the Arizona trip when Steve was so sleepy he was weaving allover the road?” “Yeah that was nuts eh”. That will be followed by numerous funny stories of when we or others we knew were really really tired. General good times will ensue and lots of good natured laughter. At some point some one will suggest to Jared that he handle it like Steve did and just slap himself hellaciously in the face, many times, with an open stiff hand. “man that’ll wake you up.” “Talk about refreshing!” At this point the more manly among us will suggest that that is a little prissy. The proper way to deal with real sleepiness is to take out your pocket knife, pinch it off so that only a quarter inch of the blade is exposed and jab yourself in the leg a few times. Some guys object to that method because it leaves blood stains on your trousers but some one will point out that that is easily taken care of by running hot water over the stains. Then a general but good natured argument will break out with some of us maintaing that it isn’t hot water, but cold water that removes bloodstains. Hey, men know housekeeping secrets too, if they have practical application.
So anyhoo, Jared kept driving. What else is a man to do.