The Old Prof

Pets become our children?

My wife sits and reads the newspaper ads. She tends to read them outloud to me. I think she just likes to irritate me. One today finally caught my attention. And I quote:

 ..." puppy for adoption to a God fearing home.

incredable. Free Adoption to a God fearing home!

At first I thought she was making it up or had just read Dog backwards but I gave that up since if you were afraid of dogs what would you be doing adopting one.

Then I wondered how you would know the potential adoptee really was afraid of God. People can lie and someone who really wanted that puppy and didn’t fear God might be more likely to lie more fearlesly than some other.

Toward the last, as I looked thru the paper to see if there really was such an ad, my wife might have made it up, I got wondering. What if no one fitting that designation replied? Would it be possible for some one to adopt the puppy if they didn’t really fear God but were just a little spooked? Or would you have to do some sort of pro-rated thing where the puppy wasn’t free anymore and you actually paid a little bit, or a lot, depending on some sort of sliding scale on your level of awe.

I really should stop now but its hard to let go of a gem like this. Do you for instance think that now when people have tended to restrict the size of their families they sort of project their love onto pets? If I had a basketfull of puppies I don’t think I would be demanding that the people doing me the favor of taking them away meet any sort of stringent standards. Well, I’d like them to be kind but I wouldn’t demand that they wake them early and read them the Bible. In fact the use of the word Adoption

Posted by Old Prof at 05:02 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

How very very odd

I was sitting outside Millies All American Cafe, waiting for my wife and reading The Shakespeare Wars. I was in the chapter titled Romeo + Julliet. As I sat there in the bright sunlight, sheltering behind a pllar while freezing in the stiff breeze a waitress just going on shift walked up. she put her hand on the door handle but paused and looked down the street. She then yelled in a tight disgusted voice,”Romeo!”… “Romeo!” No response. She sighed and went into the cafe.

I bet everyone reading this is now inspired to write some sort of pithy statement about the whole Romeo and Juliett, male and female thing using this as a metaphore. I can hardly restrain myself from all sorts of droll and insightful, jejune and cliched comments.

But beyond that, way beyond is … How the heck can such coincidents occur?

Posted by Old Prof at 03:08 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

A New York city scientist says global warming is a major cause for the rise in temperature. It seems reasonable. I suppose the converse would be true.

We are still waiting for an explanation for the snow storms sweeping colordo. Some think it could be a cooling trend caused by global warming.

Posted by Old Prof at 11:07 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Potentially endless source of stories

On a roll here.

How about this headline for the potential to come up with a story at anytime the deadline presses, and I quote:

Report: Spanish Prince Was Not Poisoned

I think that there must be quite a few people about whom that could also be said. I had just never thought about it that way. When you start headlining all the things that didnt happen you are toying with eternity.

But if I was going to make up news I think I would go for somethng more colorful. Think of all the people who didn’t explode. “Spanish prince did not rise twenty feet into the air and explode in multicolored fragments” is far more interesting. I suspect that is exactly what is behind the next headline of Video Highlights. That is, Panda Baby Boom In China. See! Of course they do. They know what sells.

I admit I didn’t read the story or view the video. That’s partly because I thought it might spoil my train of thought and partly because what can you possibly say after you report that something no one thought would happen had not after all happened? Or in the second case proved ones suspicions.

Posted by Old Prof at 06:21 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Or

Hail Caesar

The world can be cruel. I notice that the stuff emanating from Boston on Romney is more like blood sport than politics. One newspaperman spoke of Romney having a Clintionian“Slick Willie” image problem . A blogger replied “If you liked Slick Willie then you are gonna love Slick Mitt. Not for me—nope! “ Another source sharpens the attack by saying “As “Slick Willard” Romney seeks the presidency of the United States,…”I thought that sort of thing ended with Thomas Nast. Not in Boston I guess.

I guess Bostonian journalists really like Mr. Obama or else we would now be being treated to someone referring to his followers as the Obamanation . If Romney’s dad could be swept from the presidential primary by his admission that he had been brainwashed, tricked, as he undoubtedly was, by the army, and the younger Romney skewered by the “slick Willie” sobriquet that ought to do it for Obama.

Let the games begin.

Posted by Old Prof at 01:18 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

In the minds eye Horatio

I was just checking out msn’s instant news section of my computer screen when I was struck by two headlines, separated from each other by two other alerts but obviously conjoined by theme. One reported massive snow drifts in Colorado. Damn. Snow blanketing Colorado in January. I blame this Global Warming thing. It’s disrupting the normal flow of weather. I couldn’t have been more startled if my wife had opened the front door and yelled,” Hey! Come look! The sun is shining in Los Angeles Again!

Ok

Well then headline one as she is read.

Hay lift aims to save snowbound Plains cattle

Some one has given this some thought. The lift versus the drop thing I mean. They used to drop the hay to the cattle and a good sized bale of hay can pretty well flatten a cow or even some cursing rancher. So I am cool with the lift part. And I like the save bit too. If you don’t save the cattle now what are we going to eat later. The humanitarian part brings tears to my eyes. Save now slaughter later I say. I don’t know what the cows think of all this. It’s probably a pretty existential thought for a cow really and who knows how introspective cows get. “Yeah sure bring in the hay now and get the credit for humanitarianism but come spring, well, what then aye?

So I got thinking about that for a while.

But

What really got me though was the next attempt to save the cattle and who had decided to get involved. You will be surprised too. I suppose it’s a brainstorm from a PR guy.

Starbucks to drop transfats

For the love of heaven will someone not give some thought to this idea before thousand of head of cattle are immobilized in some gelatinous frozen mass! I can see the transfats pouring from the bellies of the low flying relief organizations planes now

Could you not just content yourselves with providing hot drinks for the freezing bovines? Specialty coffee shouldn’t be a problem in the midst of all those grateful cows.
Couldn’t you learn from the hay lift men? Please, please, not this. And if the stuff freezes before it even hits the surface of those frozen Plaines, what then eh?

Could be pretty colorful though.

Ehh…..

Posted by Old Prof at 04:32 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)